Where’s the Remote?

When our daughter Adrienne was about 18 months old, she began to develop a nasty habit of hiding things. At first we found it to be cute and endearing to watch our first born creatively relocate different items about the house. But after a while, the novelty of trying to find the keys the car wore off. The breaking point was when we lost the remote control to our surround sound system, which our television and DVD player ran through. I’m not much into silent films or mime TV, so this became a problem.

The inability to control things is a very frustrating thing to me. Whether it’s riding in the passenger seat on a long road trip, not pushing the shopping cart in a grocery store, or having the option to quickly change the volume on the TV, there are some things in life that I would very much like to have control of. But, over this past year I have realized more and more that there are very few things in life we truly can control. We can control our attitude, our response, our mindset; we can’t control very much beyond that.

Family-45-2The further we travel down Elijah’s health journey the more I realize how much the idea of control is just that – an idea. I can’t control how Elijah’s brain functions and develops, how his body regresses from a mitochondrial disease, how slow his body digests food or responds to medicines. The longer the battle, the more helpless I feel.

Holding Elijah’s hand last night, watching him fight for every breath, I never felt more broken, weak, and defenseless than I did at that moment. There was absolutely nothing I could do fix the situation. All I could do was sit, cry, and pray. So that’s what I did…I sat. I cried. I prayed. I was completely helpless, and everything was out of my control. Yet, in the midst of one of the hardest moments I have faced this far, I kept my faith and trust in the One who still has the remote in hand.

Elijah is still putting up a fight, still showing his superpowers.The little guy is so strong and tenacious. He’s a warrior.

We are so thankful for our family that has joined us from out of state during the time, and for all of the supportive messages/texts/posts/comments from so many dear friends.

The hours are crawling by, and each moment we are granted have never seemed so precious and priceless. Through it all, I still sense a supernatural peace in the midst of such a powerful storm. I’m not freaking out, frantically looking for the remote control that’s no where to be found. Instead, I remind myself of the very powerful truth taken from a passage I have had memorized since I was old enough to tie my shoes: “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me.” Psalm 23:4a ESV

I don’t have to have the remote. I don’t need to be in control. I can have peace during the final moments I have with our son. How? Because He is with me. He is Immanuel. He is God with us. He has been and will always be. Because He is God, because He is in control, because He is with us, I don’t have to fear.

Below is an excerpt from a book I recently started reading after a friend from our church suggested it. I pray that you and I both realize the truth and comfort from these words penned by Tullian Tchividjian in his book Glorious Ruin:
“We may not ever fully understand why God allows the suffering that devastates our lives. We may not ever find the right answers to how we’ll dig ourselves out. There may not be any silver lining, especially not in the ways we would like. But we don’t need answers as much as we need God’s presence in and through the suffering itself. For the life of the believer, one thing is beautifully and abundantly true: God’s chief concern in your suffering is to be with you and be Himself for you.”

He has the remote. He is in control. He is with us.

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12 thoughts on “Where’s the Remote?

  1. Lori Trewern says:

    Thank you for sharing your heart. For being honest and brave. For being an inspiration and encouragement in the midst of extreme heartbreak. We all desire to have the remote especially when it comes to our children. But you have explained our amazing God is the one in control and that is a great reminder to all of us. Please know that you and Becky and your children are being lifted up in prayer, and that our hearts and thoughts are with you.

  2. Mike says:

    So much depth and truth in such a simply structured phrase: He is in control! Iappreciate the quote from the book as well. God is with you and will be Himself for you. I could pretend that I know what you’re going through. That would be disenginuous though. I have been praying for/with you guys since I first heard about Elijah’s struggles last year. And my heart has broken right alongside yours as I’ve read blog posts and statuses. But I haven’t been nor could I ever be constant in my thoughts and prayers as you, the father, clearly are. But God, the Father, is constant with you. He’s the only One Who has been there with you through every tear, thought and prayer. And He is the only One Who will remain. He is constant! This is why we can feel comforted through the storms. This is why we can have confidence in knowing He is in control! I love you buddy.

  3. Cathi Keene says:

    You all are in the Keene Family prayers.

  4. Jennifer Berry says:

    What I have learned through Elijah and the Davis family is perspective. It is all about putting your life into perspective. Praying for him everyday thinking of him, of you often, in moments when I complain or whine I am catapulted right in the face with that word again- perspective. Finding things that seemed so monumental now seem so very trivial. Battles that have now become ant hills. I have never met that sweet man, but the Elijah effect has taken hold of me. I feel a gratitude and a love for someone I’ve never met. Becky and Chris you have demonstrated an upstoppable ever consuming faith that inspires me to be better. Inspires me to hold on, inspires me to still believe, keep fighting, shut my mouth and stop complaining. I am praying, fervently, everyday. Your continued hope is probably the greatest message you were both born and joined together to display. Love you guys. Love Elijah- praying for that sweet boy. Thank you Elijah, for teaching me perspective. <3 Jen

  5. I sit here trying to find words to say, but really there are none. We love you all. We are praying for your family.

  6. Savannah,Elmore says:

    You and your family are such an inspiration to me through your strength, and faith. You have and will be in my prayers. Thank you for being awesome leaders.

  7. Leiha Chaisson says:

    Chris & Becky,
    This is the first we’ve heard about your precious little boy. We are thinking of you and praying for you.

    The Chaissons

  8. Charlotte Kinney says:

    Our prayers and thoughts are with you. Been praying all along and know God is in control. I know there is nothing we can do or say to make it better. We just hurt for all of you, but so thankful to know you do have God in control and know He is able to be the best comfort we can ever have. We don’t understand, but will keep praying and know we love you all and wish for the best!

  9. Charles says:

    Thank you so much for sharing this post. Even in the midst of your darkest time, you allow God to minister through you. I am praying that God will continue to wrap you all with His comfort and love in this very difficult time. It’s so clear that your little man fights as hard as he does because he knows how much he is loved and he loves just as much in return. He also has wonderful examples of faith and strength in his parents.

  10. jerry & Norma says:

    Please know our prayers are with you. We stand ready to help in any way possible. We love you folks… Jerry & Norma

  11. Chris & Becky,
    Our thoughts and prayers are with all your family on this journey. We continue to pray for complete healing for Elijah and for the peace you have described. I’m reminded that God is always with us in the fire, we are confidant of this, He is with you!
    The Hulberts

  12. Vicki Humphreys says:

    Thank you for sharing your heart. It really touched mine. We know how hard it is to lose a little one too early, after enduring the lose of our little 13 month old granddaughter, Kenadie, last year. She was a valiant warrior as she struggled with many physical and mental challenges. She taught us so much in her short life. I know I could have never gotten through that time without the prayer of friends, family and strangers and without the hope that I know I will see her again. This is the verse that really spoke to me during those days – The LORD gives strength to His people, the LORD blesses His people with peace. Our hearts and prayers are with you and your family. We pray that God will grant you strength and peace as you navigate through the next few days, weeks, and months!

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